Another heartbreak,

Another song I’ll never listen to again,

Another special bond to associate with a negative feeling,

Another weird connection I don’t want to share with anyone else,

Another step closer to backing as far away as possible from any lovey dovey emotions.

He was strange,

He was intellectual,

He was funny,

He was deep,

He was also right for me.

Well I thought he was,

But I knew deep down I’ll see the light,

The light I was ambitious in believing I won’t see again, 

The brightness blinding and mocking how naive I was to let my guard down,

I’ll just need to adjust my eyes to the light.

BUT THEN…

You never really notice when you stop being pessimistic and,

turn away from the blinding, restricting light of harsh reality.

When you you turn away you to feel free and less restricted, but eventually you’ll have to face it again,

and it gets brighter every time,

and each time you have to adjust your vision.

You’re feeling down?
Why should I care? I have my own issues I’m dealing with,
I have my own bubble I’m trying to carefully balance in and not pop,
I have my own confused emotions within,
That I’m hiding from everybody else,
Why should I care just cause you have the guts to speak out about it?

I’ll stick to myself, you stick to yourself and we stay in our own sadness seperately.
Cause that’s how it’s suppose to be,
That’s why we ask why we should care.

Everyone is depressed and we should all therefore deal with it and assume people are looking for attention,
I sense some self projection,
and self rejection,
A blurred reflection of ones self, but they arn’t sure because they’re not asking why.

Why are you sad?
Why are you depressed?
Why do you feel like you shouldn’t care cause noone else cared for you?
Even though they said they would be there but you just didn’t approach them when you were in tears,
Curled up in your room in belief the world is against you.

The only world against you is your own

The only world against the other persons world is their own.
We in our own psychological zones,
Some ignorant, some reflective, some in self rejection and some deceptive.

You can either put on an invisible wig and pretend you’re okay,
Or ask for help and be labelled an attention seeker.

Cause why should anyone else care for you other than yourself?

What’s is home to me?
I honestly feel like I have found my home yet,
Me and the place where I truly belong haven’t met.

For me a home is a place where I would be,

and feel content and complete.
Relaxed.
Where I’m willing to pay tax for,
Somewhere I want to go back to,
a place where my mind is at rest.

I guess I find my home in multiple places for now,
Until I find a home where I can settle down.
If I find it.

A place is in my music,
The different melodies I relax into,
The pictures the lyrics create in my head.
The music is always there, neat and tidy,
Even the occasional dubstep is an organised mess.
Kinda like my room.
Turn off the music,  get out a broom and off I go to kitchen.

Get my din din,
Dance,
For me, as I express myself, I feel like I’m filling my self even more,
I take some food and then 10 times more goes into store,
and I don’t even need to leave the front door.

My real home for now,
is in my mind,
cause the physical things we have we’re eventually going to leave behind.

But without your mind, your home, you’re lost, so I always feel at home wherever I am, as long as I’m content with myself.

I hate you.
Why are you so strong minded?
Why do you keep failing,

You FAIL at everything and let everyone down,
Every time you’re given a chance to be better you just spoil it,
Mess it up.

Why can’t you just love yourself enough to REALLY try,
WHy can’t you just have hope for the future?
Why can’t you just believe in yourself enough to believe you won’t fail again,
To see that there’s hope?

Pick yourself up and see how bright the future can be.
Why are you so lost?
Everyone goes through pain,
Everyone cries,
Everyone gets depressed.
Why are YOU so weak?
Why are YOU so different?

Your problems aren’t even that bad.
You know others that have experienced worse.
Don’t let your loneliness consume you.

Be something great.

Love is overrated,

Happiness is understated.

Sex is overexaggerated,

A hug is taken for granted.

It’s all my perspective, You dont have to agree

Just respect my opinion.

I ain’t asking for millions, like trillions to applaud and clap and hands.

But …

It hurts to see others try and walk before they stand.

‘I WANT LOVE’

You want love?

What is love?

Why do you want it?Crave it?

Daydream, cry, scream for it?For love.

To be happy?

Like i said…Love is overrated,

Happiness is understated.

Don’t worry, Bob with Marley

Stand before you walk.

Ha now the jump.

That many of us naive beings so long to take.

Sex and love are so easily associated with eachother,

and yet,

in totally different spectrums.

Correct me if I’m wrong,But bah-doo,

I’ll keep going on and on.

I believe sex and love can’t be associated with eachother like before,

When it wasn’t just a casual sport.

Society and the media have merged the two together,

Stained our thoughts.

NOONE is ashamed anymore!

I won’t go a Scott and take you all around the park.

But these things are heavy in my head and on my heart.

I won’t go too deep, cause right now as I’m writing this,I want to eat, and need to sleep.

Haha yeah sex and love, I guess you’re waiting for more elaboration.

We don’t need to sex the one we supposedly love.

For me, personally.

Sex would lose it’s connection with love,If my virginity was lost outside wedlock.

Well that’s my opinion.My ‘strange’ ideology.

Just to have a hug or a cuddle.

That makes me feel: wanted, cared for special.

To be able to be in a personal embrace with someone,Without it being all sexual.

Regrettable.

Hugs are taken for granted.

Sex is overexaggerated.

What I believe might seem a tad unconventional or might make logical sense.

Sooo…

We on the same wavelenght?

I’m arrogant.
Fact.
I know and accept that,
But I like this fact about me and I’m not afriad to say it,
Cause in the end I’m always right and realise most people around me are twits,
Just idiots with no common sense,
Who are always confused or on the fence,
On the fence about straight forward things,
Cause they try to be smart and overthink,
But they are NOT smart.

At all.

My perspective is most of the time if not always correct,
And what makes it even worse is that the times I’m proven correct is becoming more repetitive.
And yet.
People still refuse to listen to me.
Which continues to prove they’re fools,
Fools who don’t learn from mistakes and keep blaming others for being late,
Late in life when they could simply mature faster if they just weren’t idiots,
Trying to be smart and convincing themselves they’re right.

Cause I’m right,

Always right,

And if I ain’t right the reason why I thought I was right is still justified.

But aye that’s the way of an arrogant persons life.
They’re arrogant cause they see others as petty and silly,
But most the time they prefer to keep to themselves cause if they speak up and tell people what they think of others,
the reaction won’t pretty,
Trust me.

I could go on forever but my rant is over.

I wish people could get to know me more and I want to meet another arrogant person so we can have a debate and compare notes with eachother.

P.S Arrogant NOT ignorant!

Reality, it seems to be catching up with me,

I’ve been in a dream,With ongoing, surreal, inescapable scenes,

I’m afraid to come back down,

Don’t want to face here and now

Even if i did. How? Do I fall from my cloud?

How to fall?

I’ve forgotten, its been erased with my past,

and I refuse to think back

I won’t recap

I’ve battled

Some I’ve lost

But who really won?

I’m hiding in a ball of ‘fun’

But it isnt really fun when your in the clouds with nooneBut why be with anyone when noone understands, what I’m going through

I cried

I sighed

i went to sleep

And i’m still in my dream, I want to be free but, what makes us free?

What makes us

                      wanna see another day

and just appreciate life in its fluxuating state.

See through my eyes, into my mind, ignore the tears I’ve cried

Deep down to find my caged emotions,                                                        They’re hidden deep in darkness

I cant find them, Can you see, cause me I’m lost, lost in what I’ve been through

What,

         What am i going to do?

i refuse to remember

Remember how it feels down there,away from these clouds

there’s no crowd up here, i know what I’m confused about

But what should i do about the unreal, reality I’ve created for myself

is this bad for my health? is it making me unwell?I’ll rather stay unwell and FEEL well and be comfortable.that way I’m sure that I’m unsure.